Life doesn’t go as planned. I know. I know. I should have learned that by now, but I mean, it REALLY doesn’t go as planned. In fact, it SO doesn’t go as planned that when I went to the quilt shop (shoppe?) with my mom last weekend and I saw a trite little phrase stitched on a pillow that normally would have made me roll my eyes (behind my eyelids because eye-rolling is super rude in my book) or shudder somewhere in my guts (because I got this idea somewhere—Blake—that I am too sophisticated for trite phrases)…instead, my eyes watered and my heart dropped to my guts and in that sickening moment I felt a connection with a Higher Being. I connected, and not just connected, I’m talking SPOKE-TO-MY-SOUL, did this trite little phrase. See? I didn’t plan that reaction, and I didn’t plan for what’s on my plate right now. My whole life is full of watery eyes and anxious tummies these days.
And it’s not bad, it just mostly is. And that’s the hard part! Because I had this great plan! Essentially, the plan was to do everything right and avoid pretty much all the hard stuff. I'm serious. The only trials that were acceptable were the ones that obviously couldn't be planned for, but all the others weren't going to happen to me. My foresight was simply going to be a good as my hindsight. Because I decided. I PLANNED it.
It didn't work.
My foresight is not as good as my hindsight.
In fact, I am beginning to wonder if MY sight had anything to do with it at all--except that it might have been the crux of the problem.
But I’ll let you in on a secret. The mere fact that I can even mention this to you at all is because I am coming to terms with things. I am starting to accept the new path. I’m not as afraid. And probably that’s why the trite little phrase caught me so off-guard. It mocked my self-induced pain; reducing it to its true and pitiful form. And not wanting to be the fool who couldn’t take a hint, I let it heal me.
So…the moral is…
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.
P.S. I am tormented by the irony that I am exasperated by trite phrases, and yet this post is littered with clichés. Sigh. So much more for me to learn. Perhaps my next life lesson on humility will be skillfully tole-painted on a piece of wood.
P.P.S. Plus, this is better than anything I could have EVER planned. Ever.
She put that hat on herself.
But I was the one to color on her face.
No. Not really.
But clearly, there's nothing to REALLY worry about here. You might say, "It's all under control." Just not mine.
