Body Image

A sleeping babe at the pool.

Last Saturday, we were getting ready to go swimming as a family and I looked at myself in the mirror while wearing my swimming suit and shouted, “Paul, I have a beautiful body.”  And a manly voice from the bathroom sink shouted, “Hell yeah, you do.”  (You’ll please pardon his emphatic response, he feels strongly about some things.)  And a little girl voice said from the living room, “And I have a beautiful body, too!  And Li-wian has a beautiful body.”   And that was a very proud moment. 

And for the record, I am not currently my most toned or thin or fit, though I am unusually tan.  I was just having one of those moments where I was comfortable in my own skin; grateful for its beauty and unapologetic of its scars.  I didn't see them except as puzzle pieces of a very beautiful and capable physical body.  And my children saw the same beauty in me and in themselves.  And I saw it in everyone else at the pool that day.  And that is good and that is right, I believe.  

When Change FEELS Like a Good Thing

Well, it’s been a few days.  We’ve had our daddy home every night for dinner, and with us every minute of every weekend.  Not literally but you get the point.  I guess the best word to describe our new life is relief.  What a relief to battle children at church with the help of my best friend.  What a relief to know when I can plan certain activities and when I can’t.  What a relief to have the hope of getting to bed a basically the same time every night (we’re still working on getting Grace fully on board with that one.)  What a relief to have a schedule.  What a relief to have a dinner time where manners can be reinforced by two parents instead of one.  What a relief to know when I can have long conversations with Paul so that we don’t feel the need to stay up all hours of the night.  What a relief for both of us to be able to relax at the same time.  What a relief to know when Paul will get to sleep.  What a relief to know I will not be the only example of gospel living the girls will see on a regular basis.  What a relief to be able to plan a day of complete laziness or absolute productivity together.  What a relief that there is so much growth potential for Paul in this very position.  What a relief to know which skills I must learn to cultivate on my own (like exercising with children under my feet) and which skills I can have help with (like rounding up children at the end of the day.)  It is a huge relief.  

We spent the first Fourth of July completely together for the first time in our dating and married lives.  That is 6 Fourth of July’s spent somewhat, somehow, apart.  But it is different now.   And I am so grateful that it is. 

And I guess a lesson that I have learned from all of this uncertainty that we entertained on a regular basis in this life so far is that, there is not much, if anything, that is certain.  For example, I am home now, but I don’t know for how long I will be able to do that.  Maybe I’ll never have to work outside my home again.  But in the meantime, because it’s not certain, it gives the moment a reality and a presence that maybe otherwise I would not have.

And everything, in everyone’s life is like that.  Uncertain, I mean.  But our life so far has taught me an awareness of that.

And that, is probably a gift.

Also, I’m tough.  I learned that, too.

For the Grandmas: An Update on the Littles

My babes

They grow and change so fast.  Here's my attempt to capture some of it before it's gone.

Love with Mom

 Grace:

• At 1:30 in the morning when EVERYONE ELSE WAS ASLEEP IN THE ENTIRE CAMP, and as we are lying in a tent on basically the ground she yells, “This isn’t camping!  I didn’t ride a horse!” 
• We never mentioned one thing about riding a horse while camping.
• At a well-baby check for Lillian, we pulled up to the doctor’s office and Grace says, “Oh!  Are we going to see my baby dock-er"      “ Yes, but it’s Lillian’s turn today.”    “Oh.  Is she gonna borrow it?”
• “Be nice to are-chudder!” = Be nice to each other.
• If she is allowed to stay in the bath long enough, she will find a way to get to some out-of-reach hygiene product (i.e. shampoo, conditioner, baby wash…) and she will empty the entire bottle before you even know that she’s been too quiet for too long.
• She loves her hair to be in one French Braid. 
• If you use the wrong color of rubber band, she WILL come unglued.
• Absolutely refuses to wear pants.  She is currently sleeping in a t-shirt and undies because her one night gown was dirty.
• When hurt will asks for a rubber band.
• She means band-aide.
• She loves “fork oranges” which is the name she gave to mandarin oranges because she eats them with a fork.
• She has gotten very good at asking for things politely.
• Is pretty good at sharing and is working on Good Listening.
• If the next door neighbor isn’t able to play, that is grounds for a severe melt down on the neighbor’s porch.  Every time.
• Her idea of a hysterical joke is to tell me that she is a Princess and I am a King.

Sleeping in a sling at the temple

Lillian:

• Is extremely opinionated.
• Is fluent in growl and grunt and scream.
• Growl and grunting= super happy Lillian. 
• Has had her eager grunting conversation mistaken as a B.M.
• Has two teeth.
• Has an enormous open mouth smile.
• Is super happy with other people until her mom walks into the room.
• Loves to try to touch whatever her big sister is doing.
• Pulls the blanket over her face to sleep every night.
• Will command the attention of an entire Sunday School lesson with her grunting conversation.
• Will command it again when she falls asleep during Sunday School and then snores loudly.
• Sleeps through the night.
• LOVES to be strapped to her Mommy in a sling.
• Gets her legs caught between the slats on the crib every day.
• Pounds her feet on the crib mattress for fun.
• Is very excited by the plastic mat we have under our computer chair and slaps it with glee regularly.
• Can only crawl backwards and pivot in circles.
• Finds herself extremely frustrated that she can’t seem to move her body forward yet.

Growling at :43