Well, it’s
been a few days. We’ve had our daddy
home every night for dinner, and with us every minute of every weekend. Not literally but you get the point. I guess the best word to describe our new
life is relief. What a relief to battle
children at church with the help of my best friend. What a relief to know when I can plan certain
activities and when I can’t. What a relief
to have the hope of getting to bed a basically the same time every night (we’re
still working on getting Grace fully on board with that one.) What a relief to have a schedule. What a relief to have a dinner time where
manners can be reinforced by two parents instead of one. What a relief to know when I can have long
conversations with Paul so that we don’t feel the need to stay up all hours of
the night. What a relief for both of us
to be able to relax at the same time.
What a relief to know when Paul will get to sleep. What a relief to know I will not be the only
example of gospel living the girls will see on a regular basis. What a relief to be able to plan a day of
complete laziness or absolute productivity together. What a relief that there is so much growth
potential for Paul in this very position.
What a relief to know which skills I must learn to cultivate on my own
(like exercising with children under my feet) and which skills I can have help
with (like rounding up children at the end of the day.) It is a huge relief.
We spent the
first Fourth of July completely together for the first time in our dating and
married lives. That is 6 Fourth of July’s
spent somewhat, somehow, apart. But it
is different now. And I am so grateful that
it is.
And I guess
a lesson that I have learned from all of this uncertainty that we entertained
on a regular basis in this life so far is that, there is not much, if anything,
that is certain. For example, I am home
now, but I don’t know for how long I will be able to do that. Maybe I’ll never have to work outside my home
again. But in the meantime, because it’s
not certain, it gives the moment a reality and a presence that maybe otherwise
I would not have.
And
everything, in everyone’s life is like that.
Uncertain, I mean. But our life
so far has taught me an awareness of that.
And that, is
probably a gift.
Also, I’m tough.
I learned that, too.
