Yep.
I am still here.
But when I think about that I--- I realize how much it's changed.
That I has been stretched, molded, expanded, grown, and loved.
And that I teaches school, so that I has probably been hated for at least a few minutes, too.
But that I has a way of winning 'em over, so it's likely they were very short minutes.
Hopefully.
I sit here though---as this changed I---trying to conjure up something meaningful to say but the truth is, I'm worn out. All my creative energy has been used up today. But I had it this morning and it was used up on good good people. So I think that it's okay that it's used up.
One of those good people did get pretty mad at me today.
10 year olds aren't always reasonable---but lots of times they are, so I don't hold it against them. Usually. Besides teaching is good practice for mom-ing. Nothing like the real game, but remarkably good practice just the same.
Being a mom makes me love other kids more, too. It does.
I love them all more.
Because I know that some other mom like me is loving her kid, hoping the grown-ups that spend the day with the kid love her, too.
I'm the other grown up---And---I'm the other mom.
So I love those kids more.
For their moms. For me.
I didn't decide to.
It just happened.
Sometimes it's hard.
Working away from home.
It wasn't what I pictured doing, exactly.
At all.
But I'm sustained.
Just as I was promised in my heart I would be if I did this hard thing.
And you know what, I am happy.
Really.
Really I am happy.
And I am Really Happy.
I wasn't expecting that.
Also,
I am In Love.
With her.
And with him.
So maybe that's why I am happy. Really happy. Because when the day is done. They are mine. Still.
And even with all the change, the new I belongs.
She fits.
With them.
So----if your curious. Here she is.
And yes, that is my ultra-cool mom voice.
